


Come Home To My Heart

by colleenco



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Quarantine, Slow Burn, bechloe - Freeform, quarantine fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:55:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23898613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colleenco/pseuds/colleenco
Summary: Falling in love with her best friend was already hard enough for Beca, but to have normal life come to a screeching halt just as feelings are unveiled was worse. Set in spring semester of the first Pitch Perfect movie, but as if it were this year amidst the coronavirus pandemic. [tumblr: evepierogi]
Relationships: Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell
Comments: 18
Kudos: 57





	1. Before Lockdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: drugs/alcohol

“Chlo, your face is more red than your hair-”

“That’s how you know I’m having fun!” Chloe shouted in a high pitch voice back to Beca. She was shaking her ass and flipping her hair more than ever before, and Beca couldn’t help but stare. The shy brunette sat at the bar sipping rum and coke painfully slowly. Amy just finished her 8th shot as Beca smirked and looked at her own feet.

It had just been announced that Barden University would begin remote instruction due to the coronavirus spreading rapidly across America. The Bellas took the risk of going out to the bar one last time before more drastic decisions would be made regarding public safety. Beca was nervous, as several of her family members have been life-long smokers, including her father. Although her mind was ridden with anxiety regarding the situation, she understood why the Bellas would want to go out. The ICCA's are now cancelled and everyone was already stressed from what happened at semi finals. Aubrey was still on sour terms with Beca and was not ready to meet with the group again. It was nice for the group to know that the finals would not be able to happen, and that all of the stress could finally be released.

“Beca, your last night out before the world ends and you’re sipping a grandma drink-” her voice piercing Beca’s ears as she could practically feel Amy’s lips on her ear. "Rum and coke is what my dead grandma used to drink, take a tequila shot with me!” 

Beca grimaced at the word tequila. “Don’t you remember what happened before Christmas break last year? I puked the entire next day-”

“Bec-that’s because you drank the bong water-”

“DON’T tell me that! I was tricked into doing that and I have NO recollection of doing it! Anyway, I’ll take the shot if you pay for it.”

Amy let out a scream of excitement and stumbled over her words to get the bartender’s attention and sloppily ordered two shots. He smirked but looked clearly agitated. “Remind me to give him a really good tip before we leave,” Beca muttered to the other.

“Oh come on, Bec. We both know the only person whose face you wanna eat tonight is Chlo-”

“Shh! Sh sh SHHHHHT. Shut up.” Beca’s cheeks turned as red as Chloe’s face that was more red than her hair. She hadn’t admitted her crush on Chloe to a single soul but Amy tends to just pick up on these things.

Beca didn’t realize how close Chloe was to her until her voice sounded from behind her. A shiver crept down her spin when Chloe’s fingers touching her shoulders turned into a soft grip. “Are y’all doin’ another round?”

“Howdy partner,” Beca mocked Chloe’s drunk southern twang making an appearance. Every time Chloe touches Beca in the slightest, a shiver strikes up her spine and she did everything in her power to not be awkward while trying to focus on anything other than the chill. “Tequila, Fat Amy’s paying!”

“FUCK you tiny! I said I’d buy for YOU!”

“I’m getting all my drinks for free tonight, don’t worry,” Chloe purred, winking at Beca.

Beca’s heart skipped a beat and she felt tension in her shoulders. “What do you mean?”

“I convinced Stacy to give me her number to hook her up with a hottie later. He thanked me profusely and told me I get all my drinks for free. You don’t think I’d actually spend all this money getting this drunk with a whole bottle of Tito’s at home, did you?”

Chloe smiled warmly at the bartender who introduced himself to Beca as Dan. “And your name?”

“Beca,” the girl chimed, her fingers reaching for the shot of tequila she was dreading taking.

He threw a rag over his shoulder beginning another drink. “Ah, are you with Chloe?”

Beca looked at Chloe with a panicked look for a split second. A split second she wished she could take away, as Chloe shot the same look back at her. “Oh! Um, I mean, we’re friends-”

“Best friends, yeah-” Chloe chimed in.

“We're uh going to the same place after-”

“We’re here together-” the redhead finished.

“Yeah.” Beca stopped

Dan and Fat Amy glanced at each other failing to hide a smirk. “Got it,” Dan muttered beginning to walk away.

Fat Amy rolled her eyes at the two in utter denial. “I hate you both. Anyway, shots girls! Here’s to the pandemic!” Amy yelled.

“I don’t really know if we should be toasting to a pandemic, it feels wrong,” Chloe spoke softer.

Beca laughed as Fat Amy rolled her eyes and immediately took her shot. “Fine, you two want to be alone, I get it!” She set her shot glass back on the bar and told Dan she’d be back later. Beca and Chloe were left behind. 

“Ready?” Chloe’s face lit up with her brilliant smile.

Beca’s heart skipped a beat as she couldn’t deny Chloe’s beauty. “Ugh, let's just get it over with.”

Beca couldn’t explain with coherent words exactly how gorgeous her fiery friend was. Her big blue eyes and curly wild hair, she had sparkles around her smokey eyes makeup and lipstick outlining the perfect shape. 

“Here’s to our special friendship,” Chloe smiled linking her arms around Beca’s. 

The two took the shot as Beca’s mind started racing. The word “friendship” echoed around her head as she felt a warm flush wash over her face from the tequila.

“Ugh, gross it tastes like rocks,” Beca set her glass down making a sour face.

Chloe giggled, something that always made Beca’s knees slightly falter. “Come on, you haven’t danced with me yet!”

Beca felt Chloe’s warm grip on her wrist dragging her back to the dance floor. Beca wasn’t one for dancing until she was too drunk, bet Beca was now on drink 3 and beginning to feel a buzz. Chloe however was decently inebriated and confident in her dance moves. She always wiggles her butt for anyone and everyone, booty bumping into people’s hips or asses, even grinding on her friends for fun. She wasn’t shy, everyone loved Chloe’s ass. Everyone loved Chloe in general. Beca smiled as her friend danced along to “24K Magic” by Bruno Mars singing at the top of her lungs.

“Beca, take my hands,” Chloe ordered, reaching her own out. Beca did as she was told. Chloe proceeded to lead them in a simple dance back and forth, something Beca couldn’t explain because the only choreography she could handle was the kind of thing they did for Bella’s. 

“You better give up on my dancing right now, red,” Beca chuckled as she was fumbling over her feet trying to follow Chloe’s.

“No silly, that’s why I’m helping you,” the redhead studied her friend’s face. Beca never partied hard, but something seemed to be on her mind and distracting her tonight. “Is everything alright?”

Beca wanted to take her hands back away from Chloe and hide, but she didn’t. “Uh yeah, it’s nothing.”

Chloe lifted Beca’s arm to prompt her to spin in a circle. “You know I'm not going to take that as an answer.”

Beca sighed after facing Chloe again. “I’m just worried about this whole virus thing. What if everything shuts down? I mean, I bet they’re shutting colleges down because people have been all over traveling and coming back to campus from different places but-“

“I know,” Chloe sighed, shifting her energy to match Beca’s. “I’m worried too. But we’ll at least probably be stuck on campus and not have classes! Well, online…”

Beca didn’t mean to shift the fun night into a serious conversation about the situation the Bellas were at the bar to forget for a few hours. “I just hope my dad doesn’t make me come home. I can’t deal with that for weeks, or months-“

“Oh no, Beca I’ll help you figure something out, don’t worry,” Chloe smiled at her friend whose face seemed to grow longer. She pulled the brunette in for a hug and everything else in Beca’s world seemed to go silent, the loud voices at the bar, the loud music blaring, everything faded out. Beca felt Chloe’s hand lightly combing through her hair, her fingertips just making contact with Beca’s neck under her hair. A loud noise broke through in Beca’s mind, and Stacie soon followed pulling Chloe away from the hug. 

“CHLOE. I can’t believe you gave my number to that guy! You know he’s not my type.” Stacie crossed her arms. Beca was surprised at how well put together he was despite drinking with Fat Amy the rest of the night.

“Stace - he is extremely nice. This is his work look and personality, not his real one. Don’t worry, just trust me. Give him a chance. Go talk to him more.” 

Stacie groaned and walked away again toward the bar. Chloe turned around to Beca, rolling her eyes and laughing. “That was all a lie, and he really isn’t her type at all.”

Beca’s smile slowly grew. “You’re evil! I didn’t know you had it in you!”

“WHOA, I think the word evil is a bit harsh, don’t you? Come on-I have to pee,” Chloe said quickly as she grabbed Beca’s wrist again.

Shoving their way through the crowd eventually the girls made it to the obnoxiously bright and sobering bathroom. Beca didn’t realize how strong her buzz was until she was under bright fluorescent lights in a white room. She was glad no one else was in the bathroom, she’s had one too many unpleasant encounters with girls in bar bathrooms. Chloe was humming the entire time she was in the stall, another display of her child-like innocence. 

“What about you, are you going home do you think?”

“Hell no. It’s my senior year, I can’t throw it away and just move home. I will eventually, but I’m not leaving my friends or you earlier than I would if none of this shit was going on,” Chloe’s speech was starting to be altered by her state. 

So now I’m separated from a friend category, Beca thought.

“Chloe, I’m really going to miss you.”

The redhead’s bright blue eyes immediately found Beca’s as she doesn’t usually hear emotional or sentimental remarks from the shy girl. “Don’t talk like we’re dying, Becs! It will be okay. I’m still gonna be around. We’ll get through it together, okay?”

This time Beca didn’t flinch at Chloe’s grip around her arms, she eased into it. She needed it to ease her anxiety. “God, sometimes I just want to like- ugh!”

Chloe suddenly turned around and seemed to be looking at the ground and fidgeting with her hands. “Want to… what?” Beca asked, suddenly concerned.

“I can’t, it’s wrong, and you- no I can’t-” Chloe was often easily worked up, but Beca sensed a new level of unease in Chloe. “I mean, I will. I promise. But I can’t now-”

“Chloe what are you ta-”

“Promise me that you won’t ask me about this again, and just, give me like, a few days. Whoa, geez yeah I’m drunk. Oh God I have to call someone tonight…” she trailed off, her brilliant blue eyes wide and focused on the floor.

Beca grew less worried and more entertained at her friend’s behavior. “I don’t know that you should be drunk calling anyone tonight. Come on, we are EXITING the bathroom now,” Beca took Chloe by the shoulders from behind and guided her wobbling friend out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading. Stay safe!


	2. Apologies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a nice Aubrey and Beca moment! We love Aubrey Posen so much.  
> Sorry the chapters are a bit short so far, there's just a lot I need to set up for future context before I really get into things.  
> As always, hope you're all doing well. Stay safe! ❤️

Stacie and Beca had crashed in Chloe’s suite on campus after their night out. Stacey insisted she stayed with the girls as she didn’t want to find her way back home alone, and this had happened several times before anyway. Beca had never slept in Chloe’s suite, though. Even though the two lived in the same dorm, the brunette needed her space and her music equipment to unwind at night. However, she had a few more drinks at the bar before leaving for the night, so she slept just fine. Aubrey and Chloe had their own rooms and bathrooms in the suite, including a living space and a kitchen with a counter for seating. Beca woke up on the couch across the kitchen wearily, rubbing her eyes and yawning. Her head hurt a bit, but nothing she couldn’t handle. Coming to consciousness, she found Chloe in the kitchen making a bowl of cereal. She was in a violet sports bra and cheerleader shorts with her hair down and messy. After a few moments, bright blue eyes shot up at Beca’s, wide and ridden with fear.

“I know you just woke up, but I didn’t want to wake you up, uhh Aubrey might be here really shortly-”

Beca’s stomach dropped. “I thought she went home this weekend?” She sat up adjusting her clothing and noticing her horrendous post-night-out morning breath.

Chloe began pouring another bowl of cereal for Beca, which made the brunette smirk, as she knew she would encourage Beca and her best friend to make up and talk about what had happened at the semi-finals. From the looks of it, Beca wasn’t going anywhere soon. “She did, but she’s coming back today to get all of her stuff to move back in with her parents.”

Standing from the couch, Beca felt pain in her shoulders and back from how she had slept the night before. “So, do I apologize?”

Chloe’s shoulders fell as if she has been tense for three years. “Maybe for quitting,” she squeaked, her nose scrunching up like it does when she’s nervous or uncomfortable.

Beca laughed and walked over to the counter to join her friend for breakfast. “Well it’s a good thing that it doesn’t matter anymore.”

“I know, but you still need to resolve what happened. It’s important that the Bellas are strong through this hard time-”

“I quit the group, Chloe, and the Bellas don’t exist anymore everything is cancelled-”

“Please, Beca. You don’t need to be friends with Aubrey. But I think you will be glad in the future if the air is cleared before we all separate and go back home, and who knows what else will happen.” Chloe’s upset tone broke Beca’s heart. She was scared, and always looking out for everyone around her. Beca agreed with Chloe’s point, no hard feelings should be kept going into this, even if she doesn’t rejoin the group in the future.

The brunette sighed and took a seat on the stool to the counter. “You’re right. I’ll try,” her voice was quiet, her mind trying to come up with potential half assed apologies to Aubrey.

Chloe smiled and used her spoon to move the cereal around in her bowl before eating. “I’d really love that, thank you. I can’t have my two best friends hating each other through this.”

Best friend now, huh? Beca thought. She denied in her own mind that her offense to the word “friend” was due to her crush on the redhead.

“Has your dad drunk called you yet through this?” Chloe asked, taking a bite of cereal.

Beca didn’t want to eat yet. “No. But it’s only a matter of time.”

“What about your stepmom?” 

“I don’t let her talk to me. My dad probably assumes that I’ll stay here. It really could go two ways, he’ll freak out about this whole thing and force me to move back home, or he’ll want to just continue his bullshit life alone with his new wife and not want me around. She hates me, she doesn’t want me there, at least I have that going for me-”

Beca didn’t even realize how much she shared or how long she was speaking until she heard the door open. She looked up at Chloe first, whose face was white and her shoulders tense. Beca’s back was toward the door, so she took a deep breath before turning around.

Aubrey didn’t react much to Chloe’s surprise. She paused for a moment and studied the two sitting at the counter, but after a few seconds Chloe’s nerves eased.

“Definitely didn’t expect you to be here,” Aubrey sighed, setting her keys and wallet down on the nearest chair. 

Chloe stood from her stool and walked toward Aubrey. “Stacie is here too, we had a bit of a wild night-”

“Oh, I’m sure. I saw the snapchat stories,” the blonde said shortly making her way to her bedroom.

Chloe turned to Beca with her mouth hanging open like she didn’t know what to say. Beca shrugged at the other. The redhead narrowed her eyes and tilted her head toward Aubrey’s door, prompting Beca to roll her eyes and slowly stand from her chair. 

The freshman who allegedly ruined the Bellas’ last performance approached her leader’s doorway and leaned against the wall. “Hey, Aubrey? I uh, just wanted to apologize.”

The blonde who had her back turned toward the doorway spun around quickly, causing Beca to flinch. Aubrey’s eyebrows furrowed. “For what?”

Beca was taken aback by her response. She expected Aubrey to start yelling or crying or both. “I shouldn’t have taken that risk. I put an “I” in team where it didn’t belong, and it wasn’t fair to the group because I threw some people off.”

Beca didn’t hear Chloe softly chuckle at her cheesy “I put an I in team” comment, but Chloe wished she did. 

Aubrey’s bright eyes softened on Beca’s, to the brunette’s surprise. She took a few seconds to take a deep breath. “Thank you, Beca. I absolutely forgive you. I also have been thinking a lot this weekend-”

A choked up cry sounded from the kitchen, causing Beca and Aubrey to turn around and find Chloe crying tears of joy at her friends’ make up. 

The two laughed before Aubrey continued. “You were right. The judges were bored. I was so obsessed with sticking to tradition, and recreating a career based off of one I already experienced, and ruined-”

For the first time ever, Beca felt a smidge of sympathy for Aubrey. She understood what it was like to want to relive an entire scenario a second time just to make it right. “Aubrey, you didn’t ruin anything. You had performance anxiety, you threw up. So what? The only way to come back from that is to top what happened that day. Not with the same thing, with something even better,” Beca encouraged. She kept switching back and forth in her mind between How is this conversation going so well and why am I being nice to her, and, Help and encourage her, she needs it. 

Aubrey’s eyes watered as she stepped closer to Beca. “I can’t even do that anymore. My reputation is ruined-”

“Your vomit stream was incredibly impressive. Unlike anything anyone has ever seen. Maybe that clip on youtube will be viral one day!” Beca was relieved to see Aubrey laugh in reaction to that. Chloe stood close by behind Beca, listening to the entire exchange. “Either way, Aubrey, I can’t imagine dealing with the senior Bellas that you did, having that horrible experience, and then the pressure of filling their shoes and taking on a leader role while you are still so upset with what happened, it’s a lot. I understand where your feelings were coming from. I got a little self centered and carried away-”

“No, you didn’t Beca. I did. Your improvisation was you trying to improve the group’s score. My anger was aimed at a past I cannot fix, and I was taking it out on the entire group all season-”

Chloe brushed by Beca through the doorway as soon as she heard her roommate begin to cry. “Aubrey, we forgive you. Beca forgives you. If she can, they all can too.” Beca watched as Chloe’s gentle hands caressed her friend’s shoulders, her voice as soothing as ever. Aubrey buried her face in her hands and wept. Beca thought this was all becoming a bit too dramatic, but it wouldn’t be a Bellas make up if it wasn’t overly dramatic and emotional. Chloe looked up at Beca and mouthed a “Thank you,” while continuing to run her hand down the other’s back. 

Beca suddenly felt extremely awkward and that she should leave if Aubrey was going to keep crying like this. She had never been close with Aubrey, but she figured Chloe could smoothen the rest out from here. “Uhh.. I can, leave I just wanted to apologize-”

“No, no!” Aubrey interrupted Beca’s nervous sentence that glued every word together to the point where you could hardly make out what she was saying. The blonde stood from the bed and walked over to Beca. “Um, do you think you’ll come back to the Bellas?”

Beca’s eyes immediately shot over to Chloe who was still sitting on the bed. Her friend caused her heart to skip a beat as she flashed her brilliant smile at Beca. With Chloe gone, I don’t know if I even want to.

“Uh, well I don’t know that anything else will happen this year, and I’m going to be really upset when you both leave. I’m not close with the other girls…” Beca trailed off. It was at this moment that she realized she didn’t have a genuine friendship with any of the Bellas yet, except for Chloe. But maybe that would change soon, given this entire unexpected scenario of getting along with Aubrey.

Aubrey’s eyebrows furrowed. “That must suck, but Beca, everyone loves you. They’re just terrified of you,” she began laughing as Chloe joined in. The way Chloe was holding her friend's arm with her own wrapped around the other’s back made Beca wish she was the one being held.

“Oh, uh I guess I didn’t realize that-”

“Beca it would be an honor if you became one of the captains of the Bellas next school year,” Chloe cut her off.

Beca’s mind raced as fast as it did when Chloe asked her to become a part of the cringey, girly acapella group that she has somehow come to love. This time, without question of judgement. This time, with appreciation and eagerness. 

“Wow, uh, that’s a lot. Aubrey, do we have to talk about logistics now?” The further Beca was into her sentence, she was speaking the words faster and quieter. Chloe loved Beca’s nervous mannerisms and had guilt for finding them adorable.

The blonde brushed her perfectly locked curls of back out of her face and stood up abruptly from the bed. “No, let’s save that for another time. Good talk,” she said in her all business tone she had every minute of every day with the Bellas. Chloe looked to the floor in discomfort, a reflex reaction to that tone she had been suffering all year. 

Beca smirked, feeling less afraid of the girl who practically just begged her to stay in the group. “Now that’s the Aubrey I remember,” she said slyly.

Aubrey’s eyes narrowed and her head snapped toward Beca. “I can’t help it, this is how I suppress emotion.”

Chloe couldn’t help but let out a laugh at that last comment. She loved Aubrey, but she was too rigid sometimes, the complete opposite of Chloe.

Beca felt her body moving toward the blonde, like a part of her heart was happy that someone so against her could finally see value in her, something she wasn’t used to. “I really like emotional, Aubrey. Come here-”

Aubrey flinched when she felt the freshman’s arms wrap around her. She let her arms slowly wrap around Beca’s back too, in confusion. Beca looked at Chloe over Aubrey’s shoulder and winked, signaling that she was hugging Aubrey to throw her off and make her a little uncomfortable. Little did Beca know, that wink made Chloe’s heart drop to the floor of her stomach, and send a flush of warmth over every inch of her skin. Little did Chloe know, the way her cheeks easily turned red when she giggled and covered her mouth at Beca, the brunette’s head spun.

Beca stepped back when Aubrey suddenly broke the hug. “Should we have just hugged?”

“Aubrey, we’re friends now, it’s okay-”

The blonde blinked quickly as the smile fell from her face. “No, I mean, with um, the virus…” her small voice trailed off.

The room suddenly fell silent as three pairs of eyes looked at the floor. Beca suddenly felt incredibly guilty.

“Well, we have been around each other a lot this semester, and there’s no cases here…” Beca’s voice was smaller than Aubrey’s was a moment ago.

Chloe began nervously kicking her legs on the bed. “Yet.”

“I’m sure we’re all fine, let’s not think too negatively, okay?” Aubrey encouraged. Her authoritative tone was back, which oddly comforted Beca and Chloe who nodded quickly in agreement with their friend.

“Alright, how can we help you?” Beca chimed, trying to clear the air.

Chloe scoffed. “If you think Aubrey is going to let you go through her stuff and touch everything, you’re wrong-”

Aubrey blushed and smiled. “Yeah, that’s like, a no-go. In fact, it’s been giving me incredible anxiety to have you both in my room at the same time, no offense.”

“None taken. I should probably get going anyway,” Beca muttered. Chloe’s face fell.

“I’m so glad we could have this talk Beca. I hope you can come by soon,” Aubrey replied with a warm smile. The three made their way out of Aubrey’s room and into the common room.

Beca didn’t really want to leave. She was scared to be alone with all of this going on, and even more horrified to be sucked back into her household even though it was highly unlikely. Once she made sure she hadn’t left anything around the common room, she slipped out of the door before saying goodbye to both girls.

Aubrey glanced to Chloe’s longing face that stayed staring at the closed door for a few seconds. “You haven’t called Tom yet, have you?”

Chloe’s fear ridden eyes began tearing up at her friend. She didn’t know what was holding her back. Probably the big unknown of Beca’s feelings, if she even had any. If she even liked girls. If Chloe is just being predatory.

Aubrey sighed. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I really like her. Don’t mess this up.” Just as Aubrey had finished speaking, the two girls spun around quickly to find Stacie had finally woken up as they watched her run to the bathroom covering her mouth with her hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! ❤️


	3. Cutting Ties

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: drugs, alcohol  
> Longer chapter! Lots of drama! Yay!

Beca woke up to the sound of her phone ringing. She had fallen asleep with her empty Chinese food container still next to her in her bed. Scratching her head, she sat up to reach for her phone on the bookshelf above her.

Brown eyes narrowed at the sight of her father on her phone screen with his name. Her thumb swiped across the phone lock and she sighed heavily into the microphone.

“Good morning, David.” Every time she acknowledged him in conversation, a small part of her died inside.

“Hi Bec. Did I wake you up?”

She groaned. “You don’t need to ask questions you know the answer to just to make fun of me.” She held her phone out in front of her to check the time as she had missed it before. 10:43 am.

He groaned back. “Listen, kid. Uhh, I don’t really know how to start this conversation, so I guess I’m just going to rip the band aid off…”

_ Yup, he’s going to force me to come home because the virus is worse than we all thought and he’s going to imprison me. _

“Oh, great. What is it?” Her eyes focused on a small Barden bear stuffed animal that Beca had gotten from Chloe. When Beca was handed the stuffed animal, she asked if it was a freshman “welcome to the club” gift, but Chloe made Beca promise she wouldn’t tell any of the other girls. Beca never got a real explanation, but she figured it was an apology for the awkward encounter in the shower.

She heard her father sigh. “I need to leave town.”

Beca wasn’t expecting this at all. “Uh, why?”

“Sheila’s parents are going to need some help through this for a while, so-”

“Wow, dad.  _ Really?  _ Really. A pandemic is coming and you’re choosing her over me,  _ again-”  _ Beca suddenly stood from her bed, putting her phone on speaker. She reached underneath her bed to find her lockbox that contained her smoking materials.

“Beca I’m sorry, but I have to do this. They’re not in good health condition at all and I need to support them.”

Beca sat at her desk, propping her phone up on her laptop. She began putting bud into her grinder. “Dad, you go through a pack of cigarettes in three days. What if you get the fucking virus and pass it to them?” She paused for a moment, realizing she has a bad habit of smoking too, but not nicotine.

“ _ What _ did you just say?”

She hated talking to him because he was a strict no-swearing parent. Beca usually hid it well around him, but not when she was angry with him, which was frequent. “Sorry, it slipped.” She poured the grinds onto paper and began rolling.

“I know it’s scary, but it won’t be for too long. Just a few weeks until this blows over.”

Beca’s eyes rolled so hard she got a split-second headache. “ _ Until this blows over,”  _ she mocked him, creating a filter out of a post-it note.

“It’s no more than a flu, that’s what everyone is saying. But Sheila is taking it very hard, and she has wanted to help them for a while now. Even if it is just a flu, it’s highly contagious and they need support.”

Beca didn’t know what to say. Her worry about the virus increased every single day, her mom was living in France now doing who knows what. There was no way Beca could fly to live with her. She wouldn’t want to anyway. So now she really is just stuck here.

“Okay,” was all she could manage, still in disbelief that her father could believe it was “just a flu.”

Her father hesitated. “...Okay?”

“Dad. Everything is going to shut down. I probably won’t be able to work and have money, what if they shut dorms down? How do you expect me to live with if that happens? You’re literally kicking your daughter down, again, and this time you can’t just ask for my tolerance of you by giving me a free ride to college-”

“They’re not shutting the dorms down-”

“How do you know!” Beca didn’t raise her voice often, but her head was spinning. She felt her rapid heartbeat in her throat, tears welling in her eyes.

“They’ve already made the decision. They haven’t cancelled the rest of the semester. They can’t force students out of dorms until international students can make arrangements to get home, until everyone can make arrangements,” her dad explained. He could begin to hear cries from his daughter.

Beca wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her sweatshirt. “Uh-huh. And then what?”

He was silent for a few seconds. “Well, I don’t know, Bec.”

She wanted this nightmare to end, and yet it had hardly begun. “When are you leaving?”   
  
“Saturday. I called to tell you this, but also so we could find a time to see each other again before I go.”

“Where do Sheila’s parents even live?”

Beca’s dad smirked at how Beca called his wife Sheila without some other rude name-calling or comment. “New Jersey.”

Twisting the end of her joint, she sighed. “You know, it would be one thing if you said something to acknowledge this difficult decision from my point of view. Something like ‘I’m so sorry, I know it’s scary for you. But I’ll support you and do everything I can.’ Where is any of that, huh?”

Beca hadn’t seen Kimmy Jin in a few days, but she knew if she lit the joint right now, she’d probably walk in and report her to the RA as if 90% of the dorm didn’t smell loud 24/7.

Her father didn’t know how to reply. “I’ll give you some money, of course.”

Biting her tongue wasn’t worth it at this point. “You’re a fucking asshole.”

“No really, I will-” he pressed, only to be cut off by Beca.

“Sure, leave me alone in a dorm at a school you _ forced _ me to attend, abandon me to go live HOURS away! Do you  _ hear  _ yourself right now? And it’s all HER fault. We were JUST getting okay with each other again until you started dating HER,” Beca was almost yelling now. She hated arguing, and was about to just give up with him. She started getting down on herself. She dreaded the idea of living with him. Why was she so mad that she definitely wasn’t going to live with him through this now?

“Beca, I’m sorry. Okay? I’m sorry.”

“Oh  _ wow, _ I feel MUCH better, dad-”

“Well you’ve wanted to escape living with me forever, I didn’t think this would be that big of a deal!”

And there it was. The complete twist of reality back onto her. Putting the blame on her. Blaming her for wanting to escape the toxic household she had grown up in as if it wasn’t almost entirely his fault.

“You’re not wrong. But you’re a fucking asshole. You know damn well why I wanted to escape your house for so long. I’ll appreciate any help you give me financially, but I think we should take a break from speaking to each other for a while, and see how this unfolds.” Beca stood from her desk, hoping he would agree so this conversation could be over. She put her vans on and found a wristlet to put her joint and a lighter in.

He stammered for a bit. “Oh, uh. Okay. Sure, okay. I uh-”

“It’s okay. I’ve been waiting for this conversation, I knew I’d basically be disappointed no matter what.”

“Uh, okay. I’ll talk to you soon, Bec.”

“Bye,” she muttered, already heading out of her room.

Walking down the dark hallway, she tried to block out any thought, any emotion. She made her way to the elevator, shut her eyes, and breathed. Only focusing on breathing. It wasn’t often she had panic attacks anymore since beginning medication, but they happened in heightened situations. Obviously, this was one of the most heightened situations she’s ever had to deal with. 

Once reaching the lobby, she immediately saw Jesse at a vending machine, his face buried in his phone. Hoping he wouldn’t look her way, she put her hood up and began walking briskly through the common area. Just as she was reaching for her earbuds out of her pocket, his voice spoke.

“Hey, Bec?”

She stopped dead in her tracks. She couldn’t bring herself to ignore him. The last time they spoke was at Semi-Finals. If she could make up with Aubrey, maybe this would be easier than expected too.  _ Why is Chloe’s good nature affecting me right now, goddamn it. _

“Hey,” she mumbled, finally turning around to face Jesse, putting her hood down.

She resented the way he even looked at her, like he was oh-so charming. His determined “I’ll sweep you off your feet once you change your personality” act made her cringe. She couldn’t believe she almost fell for it when they watched that movie. 

“How are you?” He asked innocently, opening his bag of pretzels.

“Honestly, not great. I just got off the phone with my dad,” she admitted. She remembered the time when Jesse saw how Beca’s dad spoke to her after the jail incident. 

He remembered that same moment, and how upset he was that he had unintentionally caused an uncomfortable situation in a clearly unhealthy family relationship. “Oh. What’s up with him, are you moving back in?”

Beca scoffed, looking at her feet. “No. That’s why he called. He’s going to New Jersey with Sheila, my step mom.”

Jesse scowled. “What the fuck? That’s  _ so _ fucking stupid. Why the hell would he want to be that close to New York City during this? All the international travel and-”

“I know, don’t remind me of that,” Beca cut him off. She didn’t mean to be short. 

He kept his distance. “I’m really sorry, Bec.”

“It’s okay,” she said quietly, taking her eyes off his face again. She didn’t like to look too long. “What’s your plan?”

“I’m moving back in with my parents. I’m really not excited. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m  _ really _ going to miss Benji,” he began laughing. Beca chuckled too. “Not Bumper, though.”

“Oh no, and hey, you won’t have to deal with him anymore, that’s good!” Beca chimed, feeling more comfortable with how this conversation was ending up pleasant.

“Yeah, you won’t have to deal with Aubrey anymore either!” Jesse laughed, but very quickly stopped once he saw Beca’s face fall flat again. “Oh, um. Did something happen?”   
Beca smiled and crossed her arms. “We actually talked it out. We had a really good conversation, about the whole year, and the Bellas.”

Jesse’s face looked blank, almost as if he was jealous. “Oh, um that’s good,” he trailed off.

“Yeah. She and Chloe asked me to be captain next year.”

She couldn’t help but smirk at his clear discomfort. But why was he uncomfortable? Either way, she was enjoying it.

“That’s awesome, Bec,” he said with a monotone voice.

What at first seemed to be jealousy might be something bigger. Beca scowled. “I’m sorry, is, is there a problem?”

Jesse laughed, throwing a hand in the air and letting it smack down onto his leg. “I don’t understand you, but it’s fine.”

“What do you mean?” She began regretting this encounter.  _ I could have ignored him. Damn, I can’t wait to smoke this joint. _

He sighed. “Aubrey has treated you like shit all semester, and all I’ve done is tried to help you. And all of a sudden you’re just  _ cool _ with her after one conversation?”

Beca dropped a hip and crossed her arms again. “Man, you can be pathetic. Do I have to spell out the word “friend-zone?”

Jesse looked like he had been wounded. “What?” His voice was quiet as his shoulders did a weird insecure straight boy bouncy movement.

“I mean, really. I know we almost kissed but did you really think I was romantically invested in you or anything?”

His voice raised in volume. “Were you  _ using _ me?”

She extended her hands at her side. “What have I  _ ever _ asked you for, Jesse! No, I wasn’t using you! I don’t hate you, I just want to be friends! I don’t want to be chased, I don’t want to date you!”

Jesse didn’t say anything. Beca didn’t understand how this situation was her fault, either. “I don’t know how I could have made this any more clear the past few weeks. You’re a great friend. I know we almost kissed, but I didn’t want to ruin the friendship. That’s all I want, friendship.”

“Okay. Well I guess it’s good I won’t see you for a long time,” he responded quietly, his eyes droopy like a sad puppy.

“It might be good for both of us. I don’t mean to get so reactive and snappy with you, but I just get frustrated. You haven’t been respecting my word or my boundaries all year,” Beca said, looking over his face for some sort of indication that he might feel guilty.

“Okay,” he said, rubbing his hand over his mouth. “Then I guess that’s it.”

“Yeah, I guess. But we’ll see each other again. And I’m sure we can keep in touch if you want-”   
  
“Not so sure about that,” he interjected. Beca was still frustrated with his “I’m a victim” attitude, but she yet again wanted a shitty conversation to be over.

“Okay, well if you change your mind, just text or call me. I’m not trying to shut you out. I’m just being honest-”   
  
“See ya, Beca,” he mumbled before breezing past her. Instead of turning around to watch him walk away, she pressed her lips tight and took a deep breath in through her nose.  _ So much for a resolution. _

When she finally got outside, free from any other interactions, she walked straight for the soccer fields. Campus had a few cars scattered throughout dorm quads, people packing up and hugging friends goodbye. It was only March, 45 degrees outside. This shouldn’t be happening. 

Finally reaching the fields, she found a tree behind the bleachers and smoked while listening to Bon Iver.

* * *

Chloe had been pacing behind the kitchen counter for almost ten minutes fearing the phone call she was about to make. Aubrey had tried several different ways to talk Chloe down from worry, but nothing worked. 

“This is just  _ such  _ bad timing and I don’t want him to think it’s because of the pandemic and-”

“Chloe, even if that WAS the case, he probably wouldn’t be surprised. I think this whole thing is going to make or break a lot of relationships, and you guys have hardly been hanging on all year. Just talk to him, rip the band aid off,” Aubrey’s voice was sincere and calm. Chloe nodded quickly and finally stopped her feet from moving. She reached for her phone, horrified of the upcoming situation of ending her two and a half long relationship with Tom.

Aubrey walked closer to her friend when Chloe dialed his number and held the phone up to his ear. She heard a voice on the other line saying hello.

“Hey, um. I’m going to just apologize ahead of time, um… I don’t know how to say this…”

Chloe’s eyes began watering as there was continued silence on the other line.

“I just, I don’t know that I want to keep dating you, and I’m  _ really,  _ sorry,” Chloe’s voice began to break. Aubrey mouthed “ _ No you’re not.”  _ to Chloe, having been her best friend and never liking him much. Chloe shooed Aubrey away, but her friend didn’t budge.

“Chloe you’re not good at hiding your feelings, I have known for a while. It’s okay,” Chloe heard him say. She was surprised at his calm sounding tone, but somewhat frightened. 

“Yeah. I just don’t really see us being together long term. I used to, but I think we have both changed a lot, and I just don’t think I want the same things anymore,” Chloe explained. Her body grew more relaxed, Aubrey noticed. She was still upset, but handling it well.

A laugh sounded from Chloe’s phone. “I understand. I felt that way too. We haven’t even really talked about life after graduation, and that’s kind of out the window now.”   
  
Chloe sighed. “Yeah. It is. I hope we can still be friends? And keep in touch?”

“Yeah, of course!” Aubrey smiled at this response. Tom wasn’t the worst, he was just sometimes irresponsible, lazy, obnoxious. Chloe did a lot for him, overworked her ass to try and keep him in shape. “This sucks, I don’t know that we will see each other again.”

Chloe hadn’t even thought of that. Tom was living at home for student teaching this past semester, which encouraged Chloe further to break up with him. He had no reason to come back to campus now. He had visited a few times this semester, but she was already so used to the distance that she didn’t realize.

“Oh… Um. Wow I’m sorry-”   
  
“Don’t apologize, it’s not your fault.”

Aubrey walked next to Chloe, because she knew her friend had an incredible guilt complex and would blame herself for anything. She wrapped her arm around her friend in comfort.

“Yeah. Well, I don’t know that there’s much more to say. I’m glad it was easy this way,” Chloe laughed with relief, but feeling tears build up again.

“Agreed. I love you, I just wanted to say that one last time,” Aubrey heard through the phone. Chloe and Tom were close friends, but it felt as though there hadn’t been a true romantic spark most of the time they dated.

“I love you too, Tom. Please stay safe, and I’ll be keeping in touch with you. Don’t be a stranger,” Chloe said, squeezing Aubrey’s hand on her shoulder.

“You too. I’ll talk to you soon,” she heard him say before putting her phone on the counter.

Chloe finally let out sobs as she fully embraced Aubrey. “Why am I crying so hard? He was so nice about it!” She cried into Aubrey’s shoulder.

The blonde laughed and patted her friend on the back. “You cry a lot, I don’t know. But you did it! Now, will you invite B-”   


“Aubrey! It is WAY too soon! She’s probably moving back in with her dad anyway. I can’t just hang up on the phone with Tom and then call Beca,” Chloe said grabbing her phone and walking to the couch. She huffed when she sat down, unlocking her phone.

Aubrey raised an eyebrow. “Who are you texting?”   
  
“Beca,” Chloe responded shortly with a scowl.

“And what are you saying?” Aubrey laughed.

The redhead rolled her eyes. “I’m just  _ asking _ if she’s talked to her dad yet. I’m worried about her. I didn’t hear from her yesterday.”

Aubrey crossed her arms. She knew her friend was highly emotional right now, but she couldn’t help but tease. “What would Tom think if he knew you broke up with him for an emo freshman DJ?”

“SHUT UP Aubrey! I hate myself for ALL of this and you  _ know _ it!”

Her friend giggled and walked into her room, deciding Chloe had been through enough. Chloe took a deep breath, and sent her text to Beca.

[12:24] Chloe: hey! have you heard from your dad yet?

She sat for a few seconds, staring at the screen before standing up again and walking back to the kitchen. She opened the fridge and reached for the bottle of riesling. Once she had gotten a glass out of the cabinet, she heard the notification tone from her phone on the table next to the couch. 

“Fuck,” she muttered, popping the cork off of the bottle.

“Chloe, it’s 12:30 in the afternoon and your breakup went well! What are you drinking wine for?”   
  
“Would you like a glass, Aubrey?” Chloe asked, smirking and reaching for a second glass. She knew this would shut her up.

“Yes please!” Chloe heard from the other room. She poured another glass and left it on the counter for Aubrey after calling for her. Chloe sat back down on the couch, sipping her wine and checking Beca’s message. 

[12:26] Beca: Yeah. He’s going to New Jersey with Satan.

[12:26] Chloe: omg that’s great tho! you’re free!

“Beca is staying on campus!” Chloe yelled to Aubrey. 

“INVITE. HER. OVER. TONIGHT. I’ll leave, I gotta get a hook up in tonight anyway before the world shuts down-”   
  
“Oh my God, Aubrey, I don’t need you to stay away the whole night I can’t hook up with her!”

Aubrey popped into her doorway so she could look at Chloe. Her mouth slightly hung open, her face stunned. “Are you, Chloe Beale, nervous about someone you’re attracted to?”   
  
Just then, Chloe flinched at the text tone when Beca responded to. She closed her eyes and sighed. “Sometimes I hate that you point out everything I am denying.”   
  
“You know you love me, xoxo,” Aubrey chimed before slipping back into her room.

[12:27] Beca: I guess. He’s a dick though. I know I said I wanted to stay on campus, but I didn’t think he would move hours away during this.

Chloe scowled as she realized the issue. “Ah, fuck. Yeah, Aubrey I think she needs to come over tonight.”

Her friend’s voice sounded from the other room again. “Alright, I’m still getting my booty call tonight, just saying!”   
  
Chloe groaned and continued to drink her wine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed, stay safe! Thanks for reading!


	4. Why So Tense?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: drugs, alcohol
> 
> Pretty fluffy chapter, but don't get used to that 😬

Beca was experiencing a new level of anxiety trying to find what she should wear to Chloe’s tonight.

She had no idea what to expect. _What if something happens? She probably doesn’t even like me. She’s straight, right? There’s no way. But she probably doesn’t like me. She’s just, friendly and bursts everyone’s bubble. I’m not special. She doesn’t care what you wear._

Feeling a stress headache coming on, Beca stopped for a minute to take a deep breath. She figured she could just smoke a little, just one hit out the window and she’d feel okay again. She quickly scrambled to find her bowl under her bed, pressed her shower towel at the bottom of the doorway to block the gap, and packed a bowl. 

_Please don’t walk in right now, Kimmy Jin. Please._

Beca filled her lungs as much as she could, holding the smoke in painfully long. Once she released her breath, she felt better. She knew this was bad. She knew that it would probably be much harder to have a consistent supply throughout this crisis. 

After putting everything away back under her bed, she stared at all of the rejected outfits spread out on top of it. She decided to go with some deep blue jeans and a light brown sweater. Not grungy, but not noticeably dressy. She groaned as she forced herself to give up on agonizing over clothing. She checked her makeup in the mirror, fixed her hair, and gathered her belongings.

Chloe was equally nervous. She never had a problem choosing an outfit, fashion was one of her strong suits. But Chloe was an over thinker. She wanted to light a candle to have the suite smell fresh, but didn’t want to give Beca the wrong idea. She didn’t know how she was going to explain Aubrey being gone without coming across predatory. She already made that mistake of coming on too strong once before. _What if something does happen? I can’t break up with Tom and then hours later kiss my friend, I don’t even know what I feel._

Chloe was wearing a floral skirt with a crop top collared white top. She had her hair down, minimal make up, but a light and glittery eyeshadow that she had caught Beca admiring a few times, or at least she figured that was the case.

She had made a few snacks in case they were needed, chips and guacamole, pineapple, cantaloupe, and strawberries. Of course she picked up some more wine. Chloe has no plan other than that. Netflix, snacks, a few drinks, just a normal girls night in. Her and Beca didn't hang out just the two of them often. There were a few instances, but never in Chloe’s suite. Always out grabbing lunch or a coffee together, but every other time they met they were with a few other Bellas at least.

 _You’re just friends. Don’t make this weird_.

Just then, Chloe heard a knock on the door. She brushed the hair out of her face while making her way to the door. She was taken aback that Beca wasn’t wearing a flannel.

“Hey! I like that sweater,” Chloe stepped back to let Beca walk in.

Beca blushed, but tried to keep composure. “Thanks. I went on a walk earlier, I’ve been freezing since,” she explained, sitting on the couch where she had been the other morning after the bar.

“Where’d you go?” Chloe asked, heart beating out of her chest. She noticed a faint smell in the air after Beca had brushed by her in the doorway. It was no secret Beca smoked, Chloe just wished she didn’t need to in order to feel comfortable around her. She tried not to take it personally.

“Oh just, to the fields. Laid there for a while until my ass was numb,” Beca smirked. Her voice gets lower in pitch and slightly hoarse after she smokes, something Chloe regretted finding attractive every single time.

Beca regretted smoking minutes before arriving. Her anxiety level was way too high; sometimes she doesn’t pace herself, much like the giant hit she just took, and her heart feels like it will explode. That’s a feeling Chloe alone did to her, so this was worse.

Chloe didn’t notice, she was just as nervous herself, craving the white zinfandel in the fridge. “Do you want a drink? I have wine,” she offered moving toward the kitchen.

“No thanks, I’m okay,” Beca spoke in between deep breaths.

“You okay?” Chloe asked after studying Beca for a few seconds. Her shoulders had been rising and falling. Beca is usually calm or apathetic, but Chloe knows when she is feeling quite the opposite.

“Yeah,” Beca managed between deep breaths. “Just an idiot is all.”

“Why’s that?” Chloe chuckled as she poured herself a glass.

Beca groaned. “You’d think I would know how to not get anxious about my heart rate after smoking by now.”

Chloe wanted to say something sarcastic, but didn’t really want to get into the topic with a self conscious view on it. “Do you want to eat? We can put a movie on or something. Maybe you want to talk?”

Beca tried to imagine the couch swallowing her, and Chloe giggled at the way her body relaxed and Beca slowly slumped down the couch. “I don’t know. Do I want to talk?”

“The fact that you’re not harshly denying it is extremely rare so I think that’s a yes,” Chloe’s voice was sweet as she sat on the opposite side of the couch from where Beca was. The freshman wondered if Chloe’s wine flavored breath would taste as sweet as her voice sounded every single time she spoke.

Chloe has to bite her bottom lip to keep herself from laughing at the view of Beca’s head almost at where the bottom of the back cushion meets the seat cushion, her arms sprawled out at her side. The brunette didn’t budge or even look like she might be about to say something. “I’m all ears,” Chloe whispered.

“Ugh. Okay,” Beca let out another big sigh and straightened her posture. She was calming down just having Chloe near her again, being patient with her and not judging her. There were several seconds of awkward silence, Beca’s mouth moving in vague ways trying to figure out where to start.

“Is it your dad?-“

“It’s about-yeah, it’s my dad,” Beca finally admitted at the same time Chloe spoke. Chloe nodded and stayed silent, taking another sip. “I mean. It’s not so much him as it is me.”

“What do you mean?” Chloe could help but stare at Beca, wanting to read every single thought going through her mind so she could support her.

Beca’s eyes darted to a poster of Paris on the wall in the kitchen to avoid Chloe’s eyes that would probably make her cry. “Like. I’ve hated him as long as I can remember. Well no, I’ve hated him since middle school and was indifferent before. And now I’m so upset he’s leaving and won’t be around? Like I would have _prayed_ for that to happen if all of this wasn’t happening. I’m only going here because he works here and he was right about me

joining a club, I love the Bellas and I met you. I just feel so fucking… _selfish,_ Chloe.”

Chloe’s heart broke for Beca. She had heard quite a bit about her father through becoming Beca’s friend and he is definitely manipulative. Beca is programmed to feel guilty about everything, even when people are nice to her. 

“Sorry, that was a lot-“

“Don’t apologize,” Chloe insisted. “I asked you to talk, I’m glad you did.”

Beca nodded timidly, clasping her hands between her knees as she slouched over her legs, elbows pressing into her thighs. “Like that’s selfish though, right?”

“Beca, if you think wishing your dad, your only parent in this country, didn’t ditch you at the start of a pandemic is selfish, we’re all going to hell because that’s the opposite of selfish,” Chloe explained, causing Beca to smirk. “It’s okay for you to realize ways he has helped you, but he never supported your dreams and has been controlling you for years. It’s _okay_ to simultaneously acknowledge things that parents have done for you, but not feel guilt when they constantly prove that they treat you like shit.”

Beca’s eyes watered, and Chloe panicked. She thought it might be okay for Beca to cry if she needed to. Chloe would just want to hold her, but was scared of getting too close.

“Yeah,” Beca finally mumbled, rubbing the back of her neck. “It just sucks. _He_ sucks.”

“I know. But it’s good you’re being aware of your own feelings. That’s really amazing,” Chloe encouraged. She wished she could rest her hand on Beca’s knee without it being wrong.

“It sucks so bad,” Beca laughed. “But thank you. For listening and helping,” she finally looked at Chloe, but her eyes couldn’t stay fixed on her for long.

“Of course. I have chips and guac whenever you want-“

“Oh my God, _yes,”_ Beca groaned. “I can get it if you want,” she offered, wanting to stand up and feel her body again.

Chloe was a bit shocked at that selfless offer, but didn’t pass up the opportunity to admire Beca from afar. “Oh sure, the guac is in a circle pyrex dish and the chips are by the toaster. There’s fruit in the fridge, too.”

Chloe crossed her legs on the couch and checked her phone to appear nonchalant in her gazing. Of course she had no new messages, so her eyes found her friend. She looked up to find Beca already into the guacamole like she hadn’t eaten all day. Maybe she hasn’t, Chloe thought. 

“Hey, I hope you have enough to share!”

Beca looked up quickly like a pet who had just gotten into trouble, eyes wide and slightly frowning. Her hair was slightly hanging in her face, and Chloe giggled and how she genuinely looked like a sad puppy. 

“My bad,” Beca grabbed everything and walked back to the common room. “You made this yourself?”

“Yeah! Super easy. I’m picky about dips.”

“ _So_ good,” Beca replied before continuing to stuff her face after sitting down. “Where’s Aubrey?” she asked, suddenly realizing her and Chloe were alone.

“Booty call,” Chloe sputtered quickly, taking a larger swig of wine.

“Ah,” Beca nodded. “Good for her.”

“Yeah,” Chloe said quietly. She wondered if Tom would come up in conversation at all tonight.

“I saw Jesse today,” Beca said after she was done chewing. She stole Chloe’s wine glass to take a little sip, only to scrunch her nose at the taste of the wine. “Gross.”

“Agreed, _gross_ ,” Chloe’s voice switched into her less sweet tone. “And I don’t mean the wine-“

“Don’t be mean!” Beca scolded, but she obviously found Jesse gross herself.

“How’d that go?” Chloe came across casually, but inside a hot wave of jealousy washed over her. She hated the jealous feeling, but the way he tends to persuade people has made Chloe dislike him the entire year. She wasn’t sure if anything was happening between her and him, she swore nothing ever did, but Beca doesn’t usually share very personal information. Chloe realized she knew nothing about Beca’s dating history. 

Beca’s eyes widened, rolling them as she finished her last bite. “You know, I had hope at first,” Beca began. Chloe’s heart sank, her face flushing. In a split second, Chloe had somehow managed to paint an entire worst case scenario of how the conversation went, including Beca admitting feelings and Jesse saying he’s suddenly not interested anymore, breaking her heart. Jealousy and sadness quickly turned into rage before Beca had even started the story.

“He stopped me in the hallway, asked me how I was, what my plans were for the rest of the semester. He’s moving back home and won’t be around, thank _GOD-“_

Chloe’s body immediately relaxed. She blushed again thinking to herself how intensely her emotions can change within seconds. Beca continued, “He made a joke about Aubrey and I not getting along, and I told him that we made up and that you and her asked me to be a captain next year and he got _pissed-“_

“Oh God, that’s amazing,” Chloe laughed.

“Well yeah it was funny but God! He went on on some ‘I’ve been trying to help you all year and suddenly after one conversation with Aubrey you’re just cool with her?’” Beca was getting sofired up that she stopped eating.

Chloe groaned. “He’s been doing this all year Beca. He’s been typical ‘I’m a nice guy and you’ll inevitably fall in love with me because I’m not an asshole’ all year long-“

“But he _IS_ an asshole! What the _FUCK_ kind of guy goes up to a girl after knowing her for a week and tells her how they will have ‘ _aca-children’_ together! I thought he was joking about that!”

At this point, Chloe was dying of laughter. She didn’t realize how she truly felt about Jesse. Tonight was amazing, she loved this unfiltered version of Beca. 

“Yeah, never been a fan,” Chloe confirmed with a few words, afraid of saying something wrong. 

“So it basically ended with me defining the word ‘friendzone’ and I said we shouldn’t talk for a while-“

“Damn Beca! I’m proud of you. It sounds like that conversation really needed to happen huh?”

Beca agreed. She wished it happened months ago. She’s been dealing with a personal battle over how she falls in love with someone, who she thinks she “should” fall in love with, and who she actually falls in love with. She’s not so confused anymore, but she wasn’t going to get into that.

“Yeah. I’m so glad he won’t be around,” she mumbled. “Do you have anything other than wine?”

“Just regular Svedka, it’s in the freezer. Help yourself.”

Beca was back up walking to the cupboard she had seen shot glasses in earlier. “And bring the wine!”

Two shots later, Beca brought Chloe’s bottle of wine.

“You can drink while high and not die?” Chloe has tried smoking a few times, not really her thing. It just puts her to sleep mostly, or gives her a headache.

“Eh, after I eat I don’t feel that high anymore. Drinking kind of brings the high but not much. How are you and Tom?”

There’s the question. Chloe didn’t know how to present her emotions on this topic, and her mind suddenly went blank. “Oh. Um, I broke up with him this morning,” she spoke softly. 

Beca shifted her posture on the couch. “ _What?_ Did he-“

“No, he didn’t do anything wrong. With this virus and us graduating, I just realized… We want really different futures. We hadn’t even talked yet about the future, let alone a future with each other. I didn’t see it working out, and we didn’t grow very close,” Chloe trained off, still in thought. Beca felt her heartbeat again.

“It was kind of a mutual thing, but my idea. And I’m totally okay, we’re still going to be friends. He’s one of the best friends I’ve ever had,” she finished. 

“Well I’m still sorry, that has to still have some lousy feelings along with it.”

Chloe blinked, pouring another glass of wine. “Yeah, I suppose,” she lied.

 _Do I tell her?_ they both thought. Several tension filled seconds passed before the silence was broken.

“Maybe it’s best that we are both single right now,” Beca spoke hesitantly, but with hopeful inflection. Chloe didn’t know what that meant. Her imaginative mind could dream up a thousand things Beca could have meant by that.

“Yeah, maybe,” Chloe agreed on a hushed tone.

Beca didn’t know what the other meant either. Maybe she said too much.

* * *

[1:47 am] Beca: Hey, just got back

Chloe sighed, thinking of something to say that wouldn’t seem clingy.

She should have said something to Beca. She should have asked her to stay over. Not to make any moves, just to keep her close. That’s all she ever wanted to do, keep Beca close. Unfortunately, Beca had a tendency of making that difficult for anyone.

_good, I had a lot of fun!”_

Chloe erased the words after “good,” realizing that’s something high schoolers say after an awkward first date.

[1:49 am] Chloe: good, don’t be a stranger 🙂

[1:49 am] Beca: Thanks for letting me talk about stuff, too. Breakfast tomorrow?”

Beca grimaced after hitting send on her message right as Chloe’s popped up on the screen. _Great, now you’re helpless and clingy,_ Beca scolded herself in her head.

Chloe’s heart pounded triumphantly in her chest as she typed out a response. Every time she got the chance to see Beca for any occasion caused this same rhythm of heart beats.

Neither could fall asleep easily, imagining what it feels like to lay close in bed to the other.

* * *

After deciding that Chloe was too lazy to make food in the morning, and Beca was apprehensive about eating in public, the two hopped into Chloe’s car to grab Dunkin.

In the car, Chloe introduced Beca to a musician she had vaguely known about, Allie X. Her production was captivating on her new record “Cape God,” and her lyricism impressed Beca. Chloe was having trouble refraining from singing along with every song, but she did so in order to sneak a few glances at Beca’s reactions to certain parts in the songs while driving. Chloe knew that Beca liked to listen to new music with minimal distraction, so she had to behave.

“She’s like, _wow-“_

“I mean I know she’s good, but it’s cool that all of the production stuff is impressing you too,” Chloe babbled feeling a little out of the loop. She had absolutely no understanding of how mixing and production works. She had tried several times to understand a few things Beca had explained, but it was too far out of her grasp.

“Yeah, it’s mostly the vocal panning that’s really cool to me, and she’s so clearly the center of the entire soundscape in every song-“

Chloe laughed after taking a sip of her iced macchiato. “I wish I knew what that meant.”

“I can show you, actually. When we get back.” 

The redhead couldn’t swallow the lump in her throat driving back to campus to park next to the dorm. Something about being in Beca’s room made her extremely nervous. She figured it was because Beca doesn’t really invite people over, so it must mean something special if Beca was asking Chloe over, right? 

Beca had already eaten her sandwich in the car on the way back, so she sat in her desk chair once the two reached Beca’s room. Even after small talk during the last few minutes, Chloe’s nerves didn’t ease. Beca queued up her music software and tapped her fingers on the desk. Chloe took small bites of her cinnamon raisin bagel and sat stiffly on Beca’s bed.

“Okay, sooo…” Beca began browsing across her screen. She didn’t show anyone her personal songs she has written, but this one would have to work in order to explain panning to Chloe.

“Alright, come look,” Beca turned to Chloe to find wide bright blue eyes. She smirked in an attempt to ease Chloe’s obvious discomfort.

“Chlo, you’re fine. Why so tense?”

“Oh, um. I don’t know…” Chloe mumbled, keeping her eyes away from the other. Beca’s eyes followed her friend’s body nearing her. Keeping the straw of her iced coffee between her lips, Chloe quietly made her way over to stand over Beca’s shoulder.

“Okay. So, Allie X, oh wait let me pull up her song so we can compare…” Beca’s voice fell again as her thoughts processed. Chloe felt special to even be invited to see into Beca’s passion. She knew this made up so much of Beca as a person and how reserved she seemed to be about it. Maybe that’s because no one has encouraged her with it yet. 

Beca handed her studio headphones to Chloe. “During the verses, imagine that her voice is out in front of you, just like someone standing in front of you, talking to you.”

Chloe took the headphones and listened to the first verse of “Madame X.” The headphones were amazing, Chloe had only ever had cheap earbuds but didn’t mind to get anything of higher quality. She doesn’t listen to music the same way Beca does. It was like extreme surround sound but with headphones, which Chloe knew was possible, but not like this.

Beca’s eyes followed every movement of Chloe’s as she listened, desperately wondering how much more amazing the song sounded to her compared to listening in the car. The freshman could hear the chorus coming up, and asked Chloe to lift the headphones for a quick second.

“Okay, the background vocals are coming in, it’s not harmony, but if you listen closely she’s just laying her voice singing the same thing. But it’s different…” Beca waited for Chloe to put the headphones back on.

“Oh it’s… all around now,” Chloe smiled, relieved that she actually noticed what Beca was trying to point out. Beca’s smile in return matched her friend’s enthusiasm.

“Yeah! So that’s what I mean when I say ‘panning.’ Panning a track left means sending the signal in the left only, but you can put it somewhere in the middle, too, which I’ll show you in a minute…” Beca skipped ahead to the ending of the song where there is a floating background vocal melody.

“So at this part, do you hear how most everything is center panned? Meaning those sounds are straight outward in front of you?”

Chloe nodded, trying to not let it show all over her face how cute she thought it was to have Beca explaining things with such eagerness and detail, using her hands excessively while talking.

“Now pay attention to where her vocals are. It’s like all of the instruments are in one spot close together, but there are eight of her standing in different spots around a room-“

“So when you listen to music you aren’t even listening to the words are you?”

Chloe pulled the headphones off of her ears as Beca laughed. “I mean I do, but I don’t remember lyrics well because my mind is so focused on everything. I’m not like you where I can hear a song once and sing practically every lyric back. I wish I could do that-“

“Are you kidding? I wish I could do what you do! Is that one of your songs?” Chloe had noticed a project pulled up before Beca opened Spotify.

Beca’s face fell a little, an apparent insecurity showing. “Yeah, um-“ she turned again to pull everything up.

“So here are the vocal tracks on this song,” she explained, highlighting them. “These knobs are where you can edit panning. If I pan these all center-“

Beca hit the spacebar queuing a chorus of Beca’s voice, harmonies of “ah’s” and “oo’s” filling Chloe’s ears and flowing all over her brain. Her heart just about stopped at the sound of Beca’s layered voice, she could hardly handle hearing Beca’s single voice in real time.

“It just sounds… well, plain,” Beca began, as Chloe thought Beca’s gorgeous layered voices sounded anything but plain. “...But if you pan the higher vocals left, and the lower vocals right-“

And with the click of a button, somehow it sounded even better to Chloe, a true surrounding sound that made the melody stand out even more.

“So this is supposed to mimic what we do as far as placement in person, right?”

“Yeah, it’s _so_ important for production. What I love about what she does in Madame X is that all of the atmosphere sounds and background vocals are panned but everything else is centered. It just makes her even more hypnotizing. Usually producers go all out panning most everything out of the center but she does the opposite here. It’s because her vocals are so damn good she can get away with them standing alone. Fucking insane-”

Chloe giggled as her eyes continued to dart about Beca’s computer screen continuing to observe what seemed to be a very intricate program. “Play more of your song!”

“No, please no,” Beca whined, clicking random spots on her screen to distract herself. “Oh, and then there’s automation-”

“Why can’t I hear it?” Chloe pouted. She wouldn’t press, she knows it’s extremely personal.

Beca shrugged. “I don’t know, I’m having trouble writing it. Lyrics aren’t solid, production isn’t nearly where it should be-”

Just then, an idea popped into Chloe’s head. “Oh my God, have you ever seen those virtual choir videos?”

The brunette blinked. “No?”

“People record their voice part and then they get all put together in one video, so basically like what you do-”

Beca’s mind was already racing with ideas. “And the Bellas could do something.”  
  
Both of their faces both lit up, and there was a pull in Chloe’s body that she held back with all of her might. If Chloe hadn’t turned to grab her phone off of the bed to begin looking for ideas for this new project, it would have been incredibly hard to not reach out and touch Beca, even just to embrace her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! get ready for more very soon :)
> 
> ALSO! go stream Madame X by Allie X, and then all of her songs after that.


End file.
